How to change someone’s mind

How do you get a child to eat broccoli?

If they continue to refuse it when on their plate, continually giving it to them in the same form is unlikely to result in success.  Simply seeing it in front of them is not going to change their mind that it doesn’t taste nice!  You need to try to change its form or disguise it among other food in order to see it eaten.  As many people have said, continually doing the same thing and expecting a different result is a simple definition of insanity!

If you want to change someone’s mind, you need to get them to think differently.  Start by looking at the issue from their perspective.  What has made them think like this?  What experiences do they have to make them think like this?  If you can start to see things from their perspective, then you have a chance of seeing the flaws in their reasoning.

From here, you can start to get them to talk more about the issue.  Allow them to talk without interrupting – you need to eliminate reasons for them to entrench their position.  Try to focus on facts rather than opinions.  Use generalities rather than specifics.  A specific example can always be refuted.

Most of all, try to ask them a series of questions that make them say “yes” quickly and often.  By leading them through a series of positive thoughts, you stand a better chance of persuading them.  There is a great example in the UK Sitcom, Yes Prime Minister, which you can watch here.

By asking the right questions, you can make people believe the opposite of what they originally thought.  This is known as the Socratic Method.

The Socratic Method is named after Greek philosopher Socrates who taught students by asking question after question. Socrates sought to expose contradictions in the students’ thoughts and ideas to then guide them to solid, tenable conclusions.  The Socratic Method is as follows:

1.       Understand the belief.  You need to understand what the other person is thinking in detail before you can consider changing their mind.  Once they have stated their idea, replay it back to them to ensure that you understand it. 

2.       When you do this, ask for evidence to back up their ideas.  Ask open questions to uncover misconceptions, inconsistencies, and contradictions.

3.       You can then challenge those ideas.  Continue to ask questions about these misconceptions so that the other person can start to see the problems with them.

The sorts of questions that you can ask could include:

Questions checking assumptions

    1. Where do you get that belief/thinking from?

    2. What would change your thinking on this?

    3. Do you agree or disagree with . . .?

    4. What are the exceptions to this thinking?

Questions requiring clarification

    1. What do you mean by that?

    2. Can you give me an example?

    3. How is this related to the topic?

    4. Could you rephrase that?

Questions probing evidence

    1. How did you come to that conclusion?

    2. Where are getting evidence from?

    3. What do you think causes this to happen? Why?

Questions about viewpoints

    1. What’s another way you could think about this?

    2. Why is this the best way?

    3. What are the strengths and weaknesses of . . .?

Questions about consequences

    1. If you believe . . . what does that entail?

    2. How does this apply to other people?

    3. Does this relate to anything else you’ve learned?

The Socratic Method is a subtle way of changing people’s minds.  It is not directly confrontational.  Simply by asking the right questions, you can persuade people to think differently.  It does, however, require you to be in the same room as the other person.  There are other ways of changing people’s minds that do not require you to be there.  This is referred to as Nudge Theory or, more academically, Behavioural Economics.  You can learn more about this here. 

In essence, Nudge Theory is a that proposes positive reinforcement and indirect suggestions as ways to influence the behaviour and decision-making of groups or individuals. Nudging contrasts with other ways to achieve compliance, such as education, legislation or enforcement.  A nudge makes it more likely that an individual will make a particular choice, or behave in a particular way, by altering the environment so that automatic cognitive processes are triggered to favour the desired outcome. 

In general, Nudges are small changes in the environment that are easy and inexpensive to implement.  A very simple example is the “default option”.  When presented with a choice, most people are likely to choose the default option as this requires the least amount of thought or prior knowledge.

Some examples of Nudge Theory in practice include:

1.       Putting healthy snacks near the checkouts in supermarkets makes more people buy these than unhealthy snacks

2.       Making organ donation an opt-out choice rather than an opt-in choice increases the number of organs available for transplant.